notmynoise
Reflection guide3–5 minutes4 sections

What to Do with Emotions

Begin step 1

What to Do with Emotions is a short visual guide for moments connected to emotional regulation skills.

It covers one core idea: emotional experience moves through the body and does not define personality.

You will name the emotion, place in the body, impulse and need, then choose what fits next.

The aim is better orientation and a safer response rather than instant emotional control.

Edited asreflection guide·4 focused visual steps
Working edition 1Published July 22, 2026Last reviewed August 2, 2026Editorial standardsSuggest a correction
01
A passenger looking through a rain-speckled train window while the landscape moves softly beyond the glass.

Step 1 of 4

Check your starting point: What to Do with Emotions

When an emotion fills the whole screen and there seems to be no room for choice…

Notice what fits this situation today:

  • A person is not equal to his feelings
  • Naming creates distance
  • An emotion may indicate a need.
  • I am not sure yet—I just want to understand
Next: Emotional experience moves through the body and does not define personality
02
A passenger looking through a rain-speckled train window while the landscape moves softly beyond the glass.

Step 2 of 4

Emotional experience moves through the body and does not define personality

  • Emotional experience moves through the body and does not define personality.
  • It is helpful to name the emotion more accurately, notice the sensation and possible need, allow the wave to pass, and use healthy self-soothing instead of blocking.
Next: Name the emotion, place in the body, impulse and need
03
A passenger looking through a rain-speckled train window while the landscape moves softly beyond the glass.

Step 3 of 4

Name the emotion, place in the body, impulse and need

  • Pause for a few seconds. Check whether this practice feels safe enough right now.
  • Name the emotion, place in the body, impulse and need.
  • Choose a safe way to calm down.
  • Notice what changed in your body or thoughts. Do not grade yourself—collect information.

Quick check after the practice:

  • What changed, even by 1%?
  • What stayed the same?
  • What do you need now: continue, stop, or ask someone for support?
Next: Choose a next step: What to Do with Emotions
04
A passenger looking through a rain-speckled train window while the landscape moves softly beyond the glass.

Step 4 of 4

Choose a next step: What to Do with Emotions

You do not have to resolve this whole situation today. You worked directly with “What to Do with Emotions” and chose one possible response.

Choose what fits now:

  • “Save one next step”
  • “Come back later”
  • “I need support from a person”

After this guide

Keep the next step small.

Better orientation and a safer response rather than instant emotional control.

Back to Emotions and RegulationChoose another topic

Where to go next

Choose the next useful idea

Choose one if it fits what you need now.

Sources & evidence

Where this guide comes from

The book is the editorial starting point. The research below checks or qualifies the broader ideas used in this guide.

Adapted from

Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before?

Chapter 11, “What to Do with Emotions” · source pages 98–105

View publisher record (opens in a new tab)
Written by
Julie Smith (opens in a new tab)Clinical psychologist with NHS and private-practice experience; not a medical doctor.
Edition used
Michael Joseph, an imprint of Penguin Random House UK, 2022 · ISBN 9780241529737
Formal review
The edition does not identify a formal peer-review or clinical-review panel. Publisher praise is not formal review.
Public endorsements — not formal review

Lori Gottlieb (opens in a new tab) — Psychotherapist and author

Editorial limitations of this book source
  • Broad popular self-help reference, not an individualized formulation or treatment plan.
  • Exercises involving exposure, breathing, nutrition, or inward attention are not suitable for every reader.
  • Scientific claims paraphrased for a general audience still need claim-level checking against primary research.
  • The source PDF contains an unrelated and medically unreliable second book after page 308; that material is excluded.

Research context

Supporting and qualifying references

Reviewed 2026-08-04

  1. 01

    Randomized Controlled Trial · 2023

    Effects and Mechanisms of a Web- and Mobile-Based Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Intervention for Anxiety and Depression Symptoms in Nurses (opens in a new tab)

    Yan’e Lu, Yang Li, Yongqi Huang, Xuan Zhang, Juan Wang, Liuliu Wu, Fenglin Cao · Journal of Medical Internet Research · DOI 10.2196/51549

    What it supports: A structured ACT program improved symptoms in nurses, with psychological flexibility, defusion, and values among studied mechanisms.

    Limits and disclosures

    Limit: Single occupational sample, wait-list comparison, attrition, and a multi-component program; does not validate isolated values prompts.

    Disclosure: No product-specific conflict identified in the PubMed record.

  2. 02

    Systematic Review And Meta Analysis · 2014

    Meditation programs for psychological stress and well-being: a systematic review and meta-analysis (opens in a new tab)

    Madhav Goyal, MD, MPH, Sonal Singh, MD, MPH, Erica M. S. Sibinga, MD, et al. · JAMA Internal Medicine · DOI 10.1001/jamainternmed.2013.13018

    What it supports: Mindfulness meditation programs showed small improvements in anxiety, depression, and pain compared with nonspecific active controls.

    Limits and disclosures

    Limit: Heterogeneous programs and populations; limited or insufficient evidence for several other claimed outcomes.

    Disclosure: Independent evidence source; not specific to the books or NotMyNoise.

  3. 03

    Randomized Controlled Trial · 2021

    Clinical Efficacy and Psychological Mechanisms of an App-Based Digital Therapeutic for Generalized Anxiety Disorder (opens in a new tab)

    Alexandra Roy, Elizabeth A. Hoge, Pablo Abrante, Susan Druker, Tao Liu, Judson A. Brewer · Journal of Medical Internet Research · DOI 10.2196/26987

    What it supports: A small randomized trial found benefit from the full Unwinding Anxiety app added to treatment as usual for adults with GAD.

    Limits and disclosures

    Limit: Sixty-five randomized participants, treatment-as-usual control, self-report outcomes, incomplete program completion, and need for independent replication; it does not validate each book chapter or NotMyNoise adaptation.

    Disclosure: Judson Brewer is the book author and was connected to development/commercialization of the studied program; treat as product-linked evidence.