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Practice guide3–5 minutes4 sections

Use Kindness to Interrupt Shame

Begin step 1

Use Kindness to Interrupt Shame is a short visual guide for moments connected to self compassion exercises.

It covers one core idea: self-criticism often triggers and reinforces a loop of overeating, anxiety, or shame.

You will offer yourself a short phrase of kindness and notice any real response without demanding to feel warmth, then choose what fits next.

The aim is less shame-driven autopilot and more capacity to learn or repair.

Edited aspractice guide·4 focused visual steps
Working edition 1Published July 22, 2026Last reviewed August 2, 2026Editorial standardsSuggest a correction
01
A person walking slowly along a calm shoreline, wrapped in a textured jacket and looking toward the water.

Step 1 of 4

Check your starting point: Use Kindness to Interrupt Shame

When your inner voice turns one difficult moment into an attack on who you are…

Notice what fits this situation today:

  • Self-judgment maintains unwanted behavior
  • Kindness can be a trainable response
  • What is important is a direct feeling, not a mechanical phrase
  • I am not sure yet—I just want to understand
Next: Self-criticism often triggers and reinforces a loop of overeating, anxiety, or shame
02
A person walking slowly along a calm shoreline, wrapped in a textured jacket and looking toward the water.

Step 2 of 4

Self-criticism often triggers and reinforces a loop of overeating, anxiety, or shame

  • Self-criticism often triggers and reinforces a loop of overeating, anxiety, or shame.
  • The practice of loving-kindness suggests wishing yourself and others safety, health, and ease, paying attention to the experience of warmth and expansion.
  • Kindness becomes a more rewarding alternative to internal attack.
Next: Offer yourself a short phrase of kindness and notice any real response without demanding to feel…
03
A person walking slowly along a calm shoreline, wrapped in a textured jacket and looking toward the water.

Step 3 of 4

Offer yourself a short phrase of kindness and notice any real response without demanding to feel…

  • Pause for a few seconds. Check whether this practice feels safe enough right now.
  • Offer yourself a short phrase of kindness and notice any real response without demanding to feel warmth.
  • Notice what changed in your body or thoughts. Do not grade yourself—collect information.

Quick check after the practice:

  • What changed, even by 1%?
  • What stayed the same?
  • What do you need now: continue, stop, or ask someone for support?
Next: Choose a next step: Use Kindness to Interrupt Shame
04
A person walking slowly along a calm shoreline, wrapped in a textured jacket and looking toward the water.

Step 4 of 4

Choose a next step: Use Kindness to Interrupt Shame

You do not have to resolve this whole situation today. You worked directly with “Use Kindness to Interrupt Shame” and chose one possible response.

Choose what fits now:

  • “Save one next step”
  • “Come back later”
  • “I need support from a person”

After this guide

Keep the next step small.

Less shame-driven autopilot and more capacity to learn or repair.

Back to Self-CompassionChoose another topic

Where to go next

Choose the next useful idea

Choose one if it fits what you need now.

Sources & evidence

Where this guide comes from

The book is the editorial starting point. The research below checks or qualifies the broader ideas used in this guide.

Adapted from

Unwinding Anxiety

New Science Shows How to Break the Cycles of Worry and Fear to Heal Your Mind

Chapter 19, “All You Need Is Love” · source pages 197–204

View publisher record (opens in a new tab)
Written by
Judson Brewer, MD, PhD (opens in a new tab)Addiction psychiatrist and neuroscientist; Professor of Behavioral and Social Sciences and of Psychiatry and Human Behavior at Brown University; Director of Research and Innovation at the Mindfulness Center at Brown.
Edition used
Avery, an imprint of Penguin Random House, 2021 · ISBN 9780593421406
Formal review
The trade-book edition does not identify a formal peer-review or clinical-review panel. Endorsements from clinicians are recorded separately.
Public endorsements — not formal review

Daniel J. Siegel, MD (opens in a new tab) — Physician and author; Mark Williams (opens in a new tab) — Emeritus Professor of Clinical Psychology, University of Oxford

Editorial limitations of this book source
  • The book draws on the author's clinical work and research but is not itself a peer-reviewed treatment protocol.
  • The principal app trial was small and involved investigators connected to the product; results require independent replication.
  • Internal-attention practices can intensify symptoms for some people with panic, trauma, or dissociation.
  • New or concerning physical symptoms must not automatically be attributed to anxiety.

Research context

Supporting and qualifying references

Reviewed 2026-08-04

  1. 01

    Randomized Controlled Trial · 2021

    Clinical Efficacy and Psychological Mechanisms of an App-Based Digital Therapeutic for Generalized Anxiety Disorder (opens in a new tab)

    Alexandra Roy, Elizabeth A. Hoge, Pablo Abrante, Susan Druker, Tao Liu, Judson A. Brewer · Journal of Medical Internet Research · DOI 10.2196/26987

    What it supports: A small randomized trial found benefit from the full Unwinding Anxiety app added to treatment as usual for adults with GAD.

    Limits and disclosures

    Limit: Sixty-five randomized participants, treatment-as-usual control, self-report outcomes, incomplete program completion, and need for independent replication; it does not validate each book chapter or NotMyNoise adaptation.

    Disclosure: Judson Brewer is the book author and was connected to development/commercialization of the studied program; treat as product-linked evidence.

  2. 02

    Peer Reviewed Meta Analysis · 2018

    Cognitive behavioral therapy for anxiety and related disorders: A meta-analysis of randomized placebo-controlled trials (opens in a new tab)

    Joseph K. Carpenter, Leigh A. Andrews, Sara M. Witcraft, Mark B. Powers, Jasper A. J. Smits, Stefan G. Hofmann · Depression and Anxiety · DOI 10.1002/da.22728

    What it supports: CBT is moderately efficacious for anxiety and related disorders compared with placebo controls.

    Limits and disclosures

    Limit: Evidence supports structured therapy, not the clinical equivalence of a short educational guide.

    Disclosure: No relationship to NotMyNoise identified.

  3. 03

    Systematic Review And Meta Analysis · 2014

    Meditation programs for psychological stress and well-being: a systematic review and meta-analysis (opens in a new tab)

    Madhav Goyal, MD, MPH, Sonal Singh, MD, MPH, Erica M. S. Sibinga, MD, et al. · JAMA Internal Medicine · DOI 10.1001/jamainternmed.2013.13018

    What it supports: Mindfulness meditation programs showed small improvements in anxiety, depression, and pain compared with nonspecific active controls.

    Limits and disclosures

    Limit: Heterogeneous programs and populations; limited or insufficient evidence for several other claimed outcomes.

    Disclosure: Independent evidence source; not specific to the books or NotMyNoise.